Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts

Funny Stories 13 - Letter to God (Do you fee the same in USA?)

Letter to god
One day A boy wanted One hundred dollars terribly. Because he wanted to purchase a bicycle and he was not financed by his parents. He prayed for more than weeks but nothing happened.
Finally, he made a decision to write a letter to God asking a One hundred dollar. Once the postal authority of the USA realized that someone has addressed his letter to God, they decided to send it to President Bush. He is the only well-known god at this time 

Funny Sories 12 - Idiot Farmer who owns a Chicken farm

funny short stroy about Idiot farmerHi,  This is a too short and very sweet funny short story about farmer...you can read this beautiful story now.....

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens, to begin with.

A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lots had died.

A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

Funny Stories 09- A Religious Bear Hunter

This is one of the Funny bear stories...
Bear stories

A man went out for hunting. He loved to hunt only bears. As the man trudged across the jungle searching for the bears, he got upon a big and sheer hill. As he thought that there might be bear on the other part of the mount, so he climbed up the sheer predispose and, just as he was pulling himself up over the previous projection of rocks, an enormous bear met him.

Violently the bear roared. It made the man so frightened that he could not keep the balance. He chopped down the mount with the bear close behind. As he fell down the mount, he mislaid his arms. When he lastly blocked at the base, he realized that his leg had been broken. Escape was not possible. So he (who was not religious at all) prayed, “God, if you turn this bear into Christian I would be glad with what you grant me for the future of my life.”  

The  bear was no more than three feet away from the man when it stopped dead in its tracks... looked up to the heavens  quizzically... and then fell to its knees and prayed in a loud voice, "O Lord, bless this food of which I am about to partake."

Funny Stories 08 : Dog Bite

Funny Story of a homemade dog and a neighbor



It is the funniest of the daty
Kate Williams was very thirsty so He went into a cafe. There was an old woman in the cafe.
She was sitting near the door at a table. At her feet, under the table, there was a small dog.
Williams bought a glass of lemonade and some cookies. He sat down at the table next to the old woman. The old woman sat quietly. She looked lonely. Williams decided to be kind and talk to the old woman.
“It is very hot today.” He said.
“Yes, but it is nice inside here.” replied the old woman.
Williams looked at the dog and asked, “Does your dog like people.”
The woman answered, “Oh! Yes! He loves people.”
Williams wanted to give the dog a cookie. So He asked, “ Does your dog like cookies?”
“They are his favorite food.” said the old lady.
Williams was terribly afraid of dogs so He asked, “Does your dog bite?”
The old woman smiled and said, “ NO! My dog is very tame. He is even afraid of cats!”
Williams took a cookie in her hand and reached under the table. He put it near the dog’s mouth.
But the dog didn’t bite the cookie, He bit her hand! Williams jumped up, spilling her lemonade.
He screamed, “I thought you said, your dog didn’t bite.”
The old woman looked at Williams and then at the dog. Then she said,

“THAT’S NOT MY DOG!” 
Next Story

History behind "Benares Hindu University"

funny short story about indian university

 Nice short story behind "Benares Hindu University"

Madan Mohan Malviya was trying to build a good university; he had to overcome many difficulties and barriers. He worked with determination to start the university. There was a funds crisis; but he did not get disheartened. He went from town to town, met many rich people and traders to collect donations. He went to the Nizam of Hyderabad to request him for funds. The Nizam was furious, 'How dare you come to me for funds... that too for a Hindu university?' he roared with anger and took off his footwear and flung it at Malviya. Malviya picked up the footwear and left silently.

Divert ur Ship!!!!!!


This is supposed to be the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.
- Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Sherlock Holmes camping trip

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

Before and after Marriage

What happen Before and After marriage. Read the conversation :)

He : Yes. It is enough now. How difficult I was staying such long time.

She: Why? Do you ask me to give up this?

He: No, Dont even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Why not? Thousand times, even more.

She: Did you ever cheat me?

Divorce Case

Oneday woman needs to get divorce from his husband and she filed a divorce case. Finally advocate decided to finish this like this:

 Advocate: Ok. I have considered all the evidences and finally I decided to give her 500$ per month as a beneficiary. Do you have anything to tell regarding this final decision? Advocate asked from man. 

presidents candle dinner

One day president and his wife sat for the dinner and suddenly realized that power was gone. fortunately there was a candle on the dining table and they lit up the candle and continue their dinner. 

Presidents wife : "It's too warmth here! "
President : "Wait I will witch on the fan" .

First Love (blonde jokes of the day )

The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you?"

Donkey's day!

A man had  Donkey. One day this donkey speaks to his owner,

Donkey : "Now I have worked for you more than 20 years".

Man : So tell me, What do you want me to do?

Donkey : OK, I want a partner, can you find me a partner?

Then he realized that he needs to do something to make happy this bud.

Three Babies of Old man

There was a 70 year- old man that married a 19 year lady. After 1 year back
woman had a nice baby and the doctor jumped out and shout to the old
man that he was a great father of a 9lb 5oz baby girl. Suddenly old man replied,
“This old motor is still running well.”
Next year old man's wife had another baby and the doctor came out and
told the man that he was the father of a 8lb 4oz baby boy.

The smart way to catch Burglars

The Burglar

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things.

He ran back inside right away and called the cops, who asked him "Are there any intruders in your house?" to which Charlie replied "No" and explained his circumstances. The cops told Charlie that all patrol cars were otherwise occupied and that he should just lock his door and a uniformed cop would be at his house when one was free.

Honest Lawyer

An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business
Honest lawyer
kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honesty. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive..... And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

Pretty lady

A drunk man arrives late at home.
He knows his wife won’t open the door, so he decides to pretend he bought her flowers & knocks at the door..!!

Wife: Who is it ?

Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty lady.

Wife opens the door & says: Where are the flowers?

Drunk: Where is the pretty lady?

Three legged chickens

Chicken cartoon
A couple was driving the car on a country road. Suddenly a three legged chicken came running after the car, passed it and run into a side road.

"Wow!" said the husband "Did you see how fast that chicken could run!" Shortly after another chicken came and passed the car with a tremendous speed. The wife said "And did you see that it had three legs!"

Now they were really curious about these chickens so they decided to follow the road where the three legged chickens just went. Eventually they came up to a farm and to their surprise there were many three legged chickens running around. The farmer came out to greet them. Now they had to ask him about how is it possible to breed three legs chickens?

The farmer explained: "You see we are three in this family, me, my wife and our son. And every time we had chicken to eat, we all wanted the chicken club. So we tried and tried and managed to create a rase of three legged chicken so we all could have a club!

Fantastic! And how does this chickens taste?
"Well", said the farmer, "there is a problem - we have still not been able to catch one!"

Peanuts

Granny photo
A priest was visiting an old Lady in her home. She offered him coffee and they sat down in the living room for a nice chat.

After a while, the man saw a bowl of peanuts at the side table. He asked the old Lady if he could have one. She said, of course, help yourself.

After a little while, he took some more and she just smiled. So when he wanted, even more, he said: I am eating so many of your peanuts, I hope it is OK. She answered him:

Eat them all if you want! I cannot chew them with no teeth so I have just sucked off the chocolate on all of them.

Ugliest baby

Crying baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.” 

A kind man

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”